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I think it’s definitely part of human nature to want to be a part of a great occurrence in the history of mankind, many such circumstances have come and humanity has not failed to disappoint. Take for example the 2002 Kenyan elections where we as a country said goodbye to the Moi Era, or 2009 when the first African American President was sworn in, or when Princess Diana died in the 90s and we watched the motorcade procession to her burial… all these in my lifetime have stood out as pivotal moments when the essence of what makes us human is present in large and almost unimaginable quantities.
So it goes without saying that Michael Jackson’s death, memorial and subsequent funeral will definitely go down in the books and not because MJ was a greater human being that we all are… it’s just that he was blessed with a talent so big he could not help but share it with everyone and at one point or another I’m certain his songs, performance, presence touched us at a point in our lives and we’ll always remember him for that. His influence is only something we can dare to dream about, and the mere thought of achieving even 1% of it is so daunting we all but give up and settle for less.
My one out of many memories is me dancing and singing to “I’m Bad” during one of the many school holidays while upcountry and everyone looking at me and wondering how a little girl would know the words to such a song. I also remember watching “We are the world” and that was the the first time I saw little hungry and malnourished (Ethiopian) children on our TV screen; and from then on I started being conscious of the things I had that others didn’t.
Everyone am sure has a MJ-STORY and we all know what our private thoughts are/were in as far as the accusations of child molestation and all the other stories brought against him. Whether we believe that he had vitiligo or not, or whether we continue to wonder why his nose grew considerably smaller and pointed as the years went by… whether or not we believe he the biological father of this children or not… those remain purely as varied thoughts and opinions across the globe.
However, what I learned from his memorial yesterday, is that there were those that loved him unconditionally, that believed in him, that challenged him, that helped him be who he was. Those people were seated on the front row, wiping away tears because however big the King of Pop was to the world, whatever it was that he represented in our personal lives, to them he was just their son, brother, friend and father – and it’s as simple as that.
I took a lot from the speeches and ceremonial motions that happened yesterday, more than I took from the current increased rate at which MJ songs are being played on our radio/tv/clubs… I’ve taken much more from Brooke Shields’ and Paris Jackson’s tears than from the varied conversations we’ve had since his death over how he was this or that or the other.
It might be a cliche but when all is said and done, the only thing that’s important is what the people who are closest and dearest to us, that we call our family and friends, what they think of, about, for us – that’s important as it is urgent… and not the rest of the world and all it’s judgments, accusations and good words (when you are gone) thinks of us…it’s the here and now… my words, thoughts and deeds towards those around me… and that’s just a point in the MJ-STORY.
“‘Michael rose to the top. He outsang and outdanced and outperformed the pessimists. Every time he got knocked down, he got back up. Every time you counted him out, he came back in. Michael never stopped.” Rev. Al Sharpton
Wow… 3-4 years later my personality does a 100% about turn from an slightly expressed extrovert to a slightly expressed introvert… oh well I guess time an things change.
THE COUNSELOR
Counselors have an exceptionally strong desire to contribute to the welfare of others, and find great personal fulfillment interacting with people, nurturing their personal development, guiding them to realize their human potential. Although they are happy working at jobs (such as writing) that require solitude and close attention, Counselors do quite well with individuals or groups of people, provided that the personal interactions are not superficial, and that they find some quiet, private time every now and then to recharge their batteries. Counselors are both kind and positive in their handling of others; they are great listeners and seem naturally interested in helping people with their personal problems. Not usually visible leaders, Counselors prefer to work intensely with those close to them, especially on a one-to-one basis, quietly exerting their influence behind the scenes.
Counselors are scarce, little more than one percent of the population, and can be hard to get to know, since they tend not to share their innermost thoughts or their powerful emotional reactions except with their loved ones. They are highly private people, with an unusually rich, complicated inner life. Friends or colleagues who have known them for years may find sides emerging which come as a surprise. Not that Counselors are flighty or scattered; they value their integrity a great deal, but they have mysterious, intricately woven personalities which sometimes puzzle even them.
Counselors tend to work effectively in organizations. They value staff harmony and make every effort to help an organization run smoothly and pleasantly. They understand and use human systems creatively, and are good at consulting and cooperating with others. As employees or employers, Counselors are concerned with people’s feelings and are able to act as a barometer of the feelings within the organization.
Blessed with vivid imaginations, Counselors are often seen as the most poetical of all the types, and in fact they use a lot of poetic imagery in their everyday language. Their great talent for language-both written and spoken-is usually directed toward communicating with people in a personalized way. Counselors are highly intuitive and can recognize another’s emotions or intentions – good or evil – even before that person is aware of them. Counselors themselves can seldom tell how they came to read others’ feelings so keenly. This extreme sensitivity to others could very well be the basis of the Counselor’s remarkable ability to experience a whole array of psychic phenomena.
Other Counselors: Mohandas Gandhi, Sidney Poitier, Eleanor Roosevelt, Jane Goodall, Emily Bronte, Sir Alec Guinness, Carl Jung, Mary Baker Eddy, Queen Noor are examples of the Counselor Idealist (INFJ)
Tusker Safari Sevens is like fine wine… it gets better with age! This year I had a blast and even more so because we were the top seeded team at the tournament, we won the cup, and defended our title. But sadly that doesn’t do it for me… fine, I finally got an explanation as to why we won’t be blessed with a fully fledged rugby stadium in the near future BUT a dream is a dream even if it has to be included in the sports section of the currently almost elusive Vision 2030… I remain hopeful.
That having been said, I now reach for achievable goals and challenge all the other 15 participating teams to bring their Team As to the tournament so that we can have a proper thrashing out! This business of the Emerging Springboks and Samoa Team C isn’t cutting it for me. There were too few adrenaline packed exciting matches and it’s time we brought the world rugby stage to our modest set up at the Safari Sevens. The grounds are there, hospitality for visiting teams is there… corporate sponsorship and the eager ever noisy crowd will be there to support. So let’s think about it at least…
Anyway, kudos to all who came to support the up & coming 2011 RWC Champions! Most of all, success in surviving the week after that adrenaline packed, sweetly exciting weekend.
GO KENYA GO!
The time has come to get down on it and get the wedding plans under way. Some how this time (as opposed to right after the engagement) I feel I am better placed to handle the wedding planning stress. Before I just kept having this overwhelming feeling in my head that it was all going to the dogs. Now am ok, a bit calmer and knowing our families are behind us 100% is definitely giving me the much needed boost.
Another boost is coming from my dear friend, who was proposed to and is getting married earlier than I am. She called yesterday and told me they are in the final stages of planning! I wanted to fall off the chair in shock! So it’s crunch time and the race can only be won by the swift! So wish me luck.
Over the weekend I really wanted to blog about something but honestly it up and left my mind. When it does crop up I shall share… otherwise have a good week!
Remember this song?! “Matatu driver keep your eyes off my body… matatu driver keep your eyes on the road… matatu driver won’t you take it slowly!’ Boy! Haven’t we come far and especially one Jimmy “Jam Jimmy Jam-a-delic” Gathu! LOL! Anyway, that being the only lighter note of the post…
Today I was really frustrated with the Matatu driver who was taking me to Kawangware (where I interconnect to take a 48 to ABC Place via James Gichuru) because the guy was constantly on the phone, and since he was unable to multitask… he would stop the car smack in the middle of the road or while overtaking to finish up his conversation. At some point the poor guy was so distracted that he took a long cut instead of a short one and chewed into the minutes that determine how late I was going to be at work! It reached a point that he stopped the car in the middle of trying to cut into traffic subsequently getting us harassed by not one but two Citi Hoppers and a tirade of personal cars!
Isn’t this guy supposed to be on the phone, honking at other cars, climbing up the curb, skiving police, warning other Mats, at the same time darting the fly mama next to him… and getting me to my destination safe & in time!? Basically the reason I pay that public fare is because the guy is my multi tasking chauffeur! Anyway this got me thinking about how when you are in a Matatu and you are late the more wreckless the driver the better for you because all that curb climbing, 10th lane creating tactics are things you wouldn’t do in your personal car… therefore in a way it works well for you when you are being forcibly driven to your destination.
However, when driving your own car and stuck in a jam, a Matatu driver isn’t your BFF at the time as they manage to make your blood pressure rise, and all (if any) intelligent words cease to come out of your mouth and are usually replace with smaller lettered words with more impact in getting your face punched by the same Mat driver, save for the fact he is working hard to get me to work on time.
Yes, that is indeed how things are. Have you ever started out on something thinking it will be this small cute white mouse in your hands i.e. small and easy to manage? Only for everything to become this enormously huge elephant seated comfortably in your living room, breaking the very being that is your sofa set and growing bigger as you look at it!? Yup that’s precisely what dowry negotiations tend to become… and Kikuyu dowry negotiations especially. Hence to bring you up to speed, I am at the stage where the elephant has only just broken two sofa legs… therefore I can safely say it’s not too big yet and it’s manageable! Or so I hope.
There was once a list written (as it should) on paper, I looked at it before the ceremonies began and it made sense… they were just things and apparently these things could & should be negotiated… i.e. they are all not a must. But now as we prepare for the 2nd visit… lo & behold practically 80% of the list is now on “it’s a must” list… WHAT!? Gracious am I that expensive? Or do all those things now define me!? I no longer feel like a bride but an item on the top floor of Nakumatt Mega’s 114th aisle, 3rd row from the bottom, 14th item from the right!
Wooooosaaaaaa!
Anyway, it’s not out of my hands entirely, I still have a say (or so I think) in having that white mouse in the palm of my hands… so that’s what am working on… it’s called Mwakenya to the future in-laws. We’ll see how it goes after Saturday! Otherwise if things get elephant… AGs office here we come!
The story begins with running of errands a day before and on the set day it was all about an early rise, loads of work getting things ready, up and clean. After everything was up and ready, I dressed up in fancy gear ready to receive the guests and this is when all was said and done the magnitude of what was going to happen that day really dawned on me and slowly but surely my spirit went silent and nervousness that I could not calm overrode my every being!
It was at this point that I was told that I could not show face in front of the guests and that I was to stay put (read hidden) till I was unveiled by my groom. Friends came to keep me company but the guests were late which increased any adrenaline that might have been manageable and my mind went into a rampage of thoughts… it didn’t help that Mum & Auntie alike were all asking me the same question every minute later, “Where are they?” I didn’t have an answer to either theirs or my questions so chat away I did trying to hide how utterly wrecked I was…
When they did come hunger set in full swing but only when I had nibbled a few bites (note I hadn’t eaten all day) were we told that it was time to go be presented under a covering of lesso. The wait for the unveiling took longer than expected as we waited for the guests to introduce themselves after which we were marched to the front of everyone for the groom to find his bride – 10 mins later he did and finally I got to see the light of day! After giving my negotiator permission to receive gifts from the guests, the elders & parents went to start dowry discussions which went on for another 2 hours or so. Therefore nervousness set in once again!
When all was said and done, everyone was congratulating us and people went on their way home… I was tired, nerve wrecked and still apprehensive and sort of still am! So I downed my sorrows and blacked out just in time before midnight.
It’s just dawned on me that with all the reduced blogging i.e. writing, lack of new poetry, attending less of the underground hip hop & art scene I am slowly losing a side of me that literary pumps blood through my veins…. my creativity. I have always had a knack of dreaming snippets of my future and yesterday I dreamed I was holding a paint brush and creating away on a blank canvas! I woke up feeling totally inspired and energized (this might also have had something to do with me going to bed early – but you get my point). Anyway apart from wanting to paint I’m looking to rekindle my love of words and poetry, so you might be seeing some new pieces on the blog in a short while and revival of what was once so dear to me; I just need to get the creative juices flowing.
Meanwhile, this weekend the first visit of the tradional kikuyu wedding proceedings. It’s a bit nerve wrecking if you try to understand all the details, but if you don’t it feels like it’s going to be an interesting bunch of events once everyone makes their way there, eats lunch, and get ready to negotiate! It’s interesting how as I look at the list of dowry requirements I don’t feel like a product in the market at all. Instead I get a sense that I am taking part in something much bigger, older and more concrete than the actual planning of the wedding day. Basically I see it as a time for two families to meet and create a base for the future, whether they agree to pay the 1 rabbit and 1.4 acre of land in Isiolo is irrelevant… those items just give a topic on which to start a long term relationship on.
As I type this am certain that a good number of my friends are out making merry in this season of death and resurrection! Meanwhile, I’m here at home, on my couch, seriously lacking sleep, and since I’ve just watched the movie 27 Dresses, and now listening to Maxwell’s “A Woman’s Work”; my eyes are a bit moist as I think of all the Hollywood romances that we subject ourselves to. Yet we eventually have to deal with the reality that is our normal relationship without the background music and dramatic happy ever after going into the sunset shots.
Basically to wrap it up in a sentence I-don’t-like-holidays much, a revelation I only stumbled upon as late as last year. I always to get this overwhelming gloomy feeling when dates such as Christmas, my birthday, Easter fast approach. Somehow I find myself very low, and have never quite found anyone to whom I could say even understand only 1% of what the hell I’m going through; so that I can just have the warm feeling that “someone understands”. Instead I just feel even more horrible for not being a sport to all the “fun” activities that everyone is up and about planning for and talking about and/or being the party popper when I do attend activities.
So as I now get into marriage and eventually plan for children, my new fear is that I’ll somehow transfer this to my offspring and they too won’t like holidays much as I do. Therefore, I’m slowly trying to come up with this pact with myself that my family will enjoy the holidays, that we will enjoy the activities that will be planned and most of all we will enjoy each other. If not then I just might be potentially about to create a future generation that will have the very same damp feelings am having right now.
I know you are wondering so why do you just get out there and enjoy life, suppress these feelings… well, that’s what I’ve been doing for the years gone; perhaps it’s time I moped it all up and finally learn to deal with what’s ailing me. Yup so in this season of death and resurrection… I do want to bury my love-hate relationship with holidays and hopefully resurrect a more cheerful and blissful person.
While I work on that, you have a Happy Easter, and let it be about Jesus rising in our hearts. Be blessed.
It’s been a long term battle deciding whether or not to attach my alias to my real name or visa versa… but I guess the bubble has gone pop!!!!! Anyway, check out a polite interview that was in the Business Daily last Friday that sorta covered me but unfortunately got something wrong… I don’t run a political blog! It just happened that at the end of last year… our political situation was on for the birds!
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