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Remember this song?! “Matatu driver keep your eyes off my body… matatu driver keep your eyes on the road… matatu driver won’t you take it slowly!’ Boy! Haven’t we come far and especially one Jimmy “Jam Jimmy Jam-a-delic” Gathu! LOL! Anyway, that being the only lighter note of the post…
Today I was really frustrated with the Matatu driver who was taking me to Kawangware (where I interconnect to take a 48 to ABC Place via James Gichuru) because the guy was constantly on the phone, and since he was unable to multitask… he would stop the car smack in the middle of the road or while overtaking to finish up his conversation. At some point the poor guy was so distracted that he took a long cut instead of a short one and chewed into the minutes that determine how late I was going to be at work! It reached a point that he stopped the car in the middle of trying to cut into traffic subsequently getting us harassed by not one but two Citi Hoppers and a tirade of personal cars!
Isn’t this guy supposed to be on the phone, honking at other cars, climbing up the curb, skiving police, warning other Mats, at the same time darting the fly mama next to him… and getting me to my destination safe & in time!? Basically the reason I pay that public fare is because the guy is my multi tasking chauffeur! Anyway this got me thinking about how when you are in a Matatu and you are late the more wreckless the driver the better for you because all that curb climbing, 10th lane creating tactics are things you wouldn’t do in your personal car… therefore in a way it works well for you when you are being forcibly driven to your destination.
However, when driving your own car and stuck in a jam, a Matatu driver isn’t your BFF at the time as they manage to make your blood pressure rise, and all (if any) intelligent words cease to come out of your mouth and are usually replace with smaller lettered words with more impact in getting your face punched by the same Mat driver, save for the fact he is working hard to get me to work on time.
Yes, that is indeed how things are. Have you ever started out on something thinking it will be this small cute white mouse in your hands i.e. small and easy to manage? Only for everything to become this enormously huge elephant seated comfortably in your living room, breaking the very being that is your sofa set and growing bigger as you look at it!? Yup that’s precisely what dowry negotiations tend to become… and Kikuyu dowry negotiations especially. Hence to bring you up to speed, I am at the stage where the elephant has only just broken two sofa legs… therefore I can safely say it’s not too big yet and it’s manageable! Or so I hope.
There was once a list written (as it should) on paper, I looked at it before the ceremonies began and it made sense… they were just things and apparently these things could & should be negotiated… i.e. they are all not a must. But now as we prepare for the 2nd visit… lo & behold practically 80% of the list is now on “it’s a must” list… WHAT!? Gracious am I that expensive? Or do all those things now define me!? I no longer feel like a bride but an item on the top floor of Nakumatt Mega’s 114th aisle, 3rd row from the bottom, 14th item from the right!
Wooooosaaaaaa!
Anyway, it’s not out of my hands entirely, I still have a say (or so I think) in having that white mouse in the palm of my hands… so that’s what am working on… it’s called Mwakenya to the future in-laws. We’ll see how it goes after Saturday! Otherwise if things get elephant… AGs office here we come!
The story begins with running of errands a day before and on the set day it was all about an early rise, loads of work getting things ready, up and clean. After everything was up and ready, I dressed up in fancy gear ready to receive the guests and this is when all was said and done the magnitude of what was going to happen that day really dawned on me and slowly but surely my spirit went silent and nervousness that I could not calm overrode my every being!
It was at this point that I was told that I could not show face in front of the guests and that I was to stay put (read hidden) till I was unveiled by my groom. Friends came to keep me company but the guests were late which increased any adrenaline that might have been manageable and my mind went into a rampage of thoughts… it didn’t help that Mum & Auntie alike were all asking me the same question every minute later, “Where are they?” I didn’t have an answer to either theirs or my questions so chat away I did trying to hide how utterly wrecked I was…
When they did come hunger set in full swing but only when I had nibbled a few bites (note I hadn’t eaten all day) were we told that it was time to go be presented under a covering of lesso. The wait for the unveiling took longer than expected as we waited for the guests to introduce themselves after which we were marched to the front of everyone for the groom to find his bride – 10 mins later he did and finally I got to see the light of day! After giving my negotiator permission to receive gifts from the guests, the elders & parents went to start dowry discussions which went on for another 2 hours or so. Therefore nervousness set in once again!
When all was said and done, everyone was congratulating us and people went on their way home… I was tired, nerve wrecked and still apprehensive and sort of still am! So I downed my sorrows and blacked out just in time before midnight.
in this crazy psychedelic
technicolor ride
where all my gooey feelings
never seem to subside
am going round & round
like a record of tunes
it’s almost as exciting as
surfing on sandy sand dunes
it’s intensely corny
this rhyme
i know
but i’m confused & it’s like
seeing thyme growing on snow
all I can say is
it’s all totally &
absolutely yummy
like the delicious
fluttery butterflies
swirling in my tummy
(Piece by Vee in Blue Smudges of the Quarterly Color Series (c) 2006)
It’s just dawned on me that with all the reduced blogging i.e. writing, lack of new poetry, attending less of the underground hip hop & art scene I am slowly losing a side of me that literary pumps blood through my veins…. my creativity. I have always had a knack of dreaming snippets of my future and yesterday I dreamed I was holding a paint brush and creating away on a blank canvas! I woke up feeling totally inspired and energized (this might also have had something to do with me going to bed early – but you get my point). Anyway apart from wanting to paint I’m looking to rekindle my love of words and poetry, so you might be seeing some new pieces on the blog in a short while and revival of what was once so dear to me; I just need to get the creative juices flowing.
Meanwhile, this weekend the first visit of the tradional kikuyu wedding proceedings. It’s a bit nerve wrecking if you try to understand all the details, but if you don’t it feels like it’s going to be an interesting bunch of events once everyone makes their way there, eats lunch, and get ready to negotiate! It’s interesting how as I look at the list of dowry requirements I don’t feel like a product in the market at all. Instead I get a sense that I am taking part in something much bigger, older and more concrete than the actual planning of the wedding day. Basically I see it as a time for two families to meet and create a base for the future, whether they agree to pay the 1 rabbit and 1.4 acre of land in Isiolo is irrelevant… those items just give a topic on which to start a long term relationship on.
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