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Actually I’m not entirely sure what’s making me as joyous as I am right now. It could be a number of things but I’m going to just give it all up to God; because in all honesty without Him and his blessings I wouldn’t be in the state that I am in right now.
I learned a long time ago that when you are up, you need to soak up the energy of the sun, stars & galaxy because there will come a time when you will be so low all you’ll have are memories of a warmth and happiness that you didn’t take full advantage of.
I remember vividly an epiphany that I had a while back on some loose Friday when we’d spend the whole day praying in the Arboretum. I realized that life is a flight of stairs with each landing being a significant part of your life. Each step you take is a lesson and if you ignore and/or fail you can still move on up for there is no going back; but there will come a time that the lesson you ignored or failed shall come back to you but at a higher level and at a different point in your life… and you need to be ready.
I was watching Oprah a couple of days back and she was talking with Marianne Williamson the author of “The Age of Miracles: Embracing the new midlife” and out of all the things they discussed that evening the one thing that struck me is that here were women in their 50s (Oprah is 54 and Marianne is 55) talking of a similar epiphany. That ones midlife is a second puberty where previous lessons, experiences, people (although different) come back to you all at once; and you are given a chance to relearn lessons and or grow through rekindled painful and joyous scenarios.
Simply put the notion of growing or being old is all in the mind and now there is a new type of midlife where you dictate to the universe what it is you want and how it is you’ll live the next hour, day, week, month year and decade. But I then thought why does this experience have to come in my 40s and 50s why can’t I tell the universe how my tomorrow will be here and now in my 20s? Why can’t I order from the menu of life… because I tell you I would order only the best… I would have it on a platter and demand it be fed to me while life fans me with blessings.
So what is it that I want on my plate in the last 3 years of my 20s… I want to live and be happy with my here and now. I want not to be afraid of my joy but to embrace it. I want to love myself so intensely that it spills over to all those around me till they have no choice but to love me for who I am and on my terms. I want to live not in fear of failing but in fear of regretting as to why I didn’t do it then…I want to live life abundantly the way it has been given to me by my Lord.
This I have said to the universe…
Despite the drastic changes in my life the passed few months, it does feel great to be in love with myself, my man, my job, my family and my life… someone should put in a 250gms bottle and sell it!
He talking of this girl he loves so much. He says this girl has got lovely eyes, that the girl must move closer and hold his hand. He says he will lover her no matter what they say about her. Come closer my love, am yours forever and ever.
Sondela © Ringo Madlingozi
Eyami ndendwa eyami
Ohh ndiyayithanda lentombi
Chorus
Sondela sthandwa sondela
Na’uthando lwami lugqine lonke
Thath’uthando lwami Umqimb’uqalanye
Ehh yami ndendwa ehh yami
Ohh ndiyayithanda lentombi
Amehlo ayo ayandibulala
Ohh ndiyayithanda lentombi
Sondela
Chorus
Noma bengathini ngawe
Ehh ehh bamb’isandla sami
Ngowami lona ngowami
Ohh ndiyam’thanda lomntwana
Amehlo akhe ayandibulala
Ehh ndiyamthanda lomntwana
Ohh sondela
Chorus
Ngeke ndikuphoxe
Hee ntandwa yami
Ukuthula sthandwa sam’
Ngohlala ndingowakho ohh
Kude kude kuyovalwa
Chorus
Ngeke ndikuphoxe
Ngohlala ngikuthanda ngikuthanda
Ungowam’ kude kuyovalwa
Ngeke ndikuphoxe
Hee ntandwa yami
Ngohlala ngingowakho ooh
Kude kuyovalwa
Ungakuphind’uhambe
Sthandwa sami
I love discovering new blogs mainly because it’s very refreshing to find someone else who shares this particular path of self expression. I’m yet to go through her blog fully, but when I do you’ll be sure I’ll have something nice to say… esp cause I already love her first name. Log on and enjoy as well.
Meanwhile you can catch her at:
kwani? Poetry Open Mic
with featured poet
Terryanne Chebet
http://terryannechebet.blogspot.com
hosted by
Cindy Ogana
7pm, Tue 7th October 2008
Club Soundd
Entry Only KSh100
For all those who’ve been privileged to attend and/or perform at the Rhythm & Spoken sessions at Dass in Westlands for the passed year, you’d be happy to know that there is now a blog that will keep you updated on the event itself and all the industry i.e. poetry, art, music and neo soul – going ons in the world. Basically Project Heshima aims to “provide a forum and cool art environment, you can’t beat the technique” of that I am sure. Log on and enjoy.
Judging from my previous posts I must say I was real ticked off on Saturday! I can’t imagine why everything would have reached the climax of pissing me off but it’s good I got it out. On the other hand this Monday isn’t so bad considering I had a great weekend, which was made up of a romantic candle lit chinese dinner, rough and ragged rally watching and lots and lots of sleep. Sadly I broke my one year Tusker Malk fast… before the year was up sob sob! I could say that I had fallen off the wagon but it was only 3 Malts… I shall not touch another till next year! Anyway, the Mondays isn’t as blue, cause Friday is a holiday! Yipee!
Now on the off chance that you bank at Standard Chartered Kenya, and you are a 8-5pm working individual when are you supposed to access the banking halls save for the overcrowded lunch hour of 1PM to 2PM on weekdays and/or the 9AM – 11AM Saturday banking hours.
Now again what if on the off chance that your employment contract states that you are to work from 9AM – 12NOON on Saturdays and you don’t live in the Westlands area which would give you access to the Ukay branch which opens till 5PM on Saturday. What if you live in the Hurlingham area… shouldn’t you still be able to access your banking halls til much later as well?
Now with all these thoughts in mind it even pisses me of further when as of today morning, a group of 10-20 customers of the said bank are all waiting outside the Yaya branch at 8.45AM waiting for the doors to open at 9AM. That isn’t the irksome part of it though… all this time we were watching the service providers inside the banking laughing away, chatting, nonchalantly looking at the clock and not looking like ever in their wildest dreams it would cross their minds to just let us in since they are ready for customers anyway, that is unless they are paid to sit and chat while customers wait. That it would be considered good customer service.
Now after waiting patiently till the clock struck 9.04AM, for the doors to be open, you walk in and find out that not all the teller counters are occupied therefore the crowd finds themselves in a long queue at 9.10AM, the customer service lady still doesn’t have all the forms ready at her desk so she has to run to the back room; and the lady who is to register you for the marathon isn’t there yet therefore you are told to come back on Monday. Urgh no wonder I like dealing with the machines rather than the people…
Anyway, despite my rant it would be nice if Standard Chartered considered opening the Yaya branch till 5pm as well; that is to cater for those guys who have jobs and no time to dash to the bank at all hours of the day. This also goes to the butcheries in the same areas.. I doubt it would hurt opening till 8pm, let us all get out of work, through the jam and get some meat!
I normally don’t have an answer to the question, “What is your pet peeve…” That doesn’t necessarily make me a good tempered person when it comes to people’s idiotisms but I do try and accommodate the nuisances that exist in people around me… after all no man/woman is an island.
But as of yesterday I realized, or rather it slowly dawned on me what I really really hate… enough to push the offending person out of a fast moving vehicle. There are people esp men who while in public means of transportation sit with their legs so wide apart you’d think they are in a lounge by the beach. This subsequently means that their over stretched, far reaching appendages are so far from the center they need a resting place which so happens to be yours for maximum support.
Now first and foremost what irks me the most about these situations, is that for one I don’t know this man from Adam; therefore it is just plain disgusting to be having his legs hovering so close to mine let alone touching because honestly I can even sense the potential warm sticky heat from 5cm away; and I just get this overwhelming desire to push him through the window or door (which ever is nearest). On occasion I have indeed reached out and pushed the offending limb away with an abrupt “Excuse me.” to close that chapter.
The reason this perverses me is the simple reason that I am paying to be ferried to my destination and my fare doesn’t include near cuddling with strangers… to put the old Kenyan adage to good use KAA SQUARE KAMA ORBIT KWA PACK i.e. keep to yours to yourself as I will keep mine to mine and please let us all try to get through our journeys without disturbing each other. That is until I get my own car and you can carry on with your task of offending the rest of the world…
The sun is shinning, sunglasses have been dusted and adorned, shorts, skirts and skimpy clothing are slowly creeping out of the closets. Statements like “Darn where is my bikini” “Wait does it still fit!? Oh no.. must diet… I must lose all that winter flab!”… are making their rounds across the city/coast…
If you are like me, which I suspect you are, I know you can surely hear the distant jingle of Christmas bells and new year’s fireworks… in Kenya we are severely tortured in the months from July-Sept as we go through three bitterly cold & cruel months that bare no public holidays within them…. but as fate would have it we have rewarded swiftly this October with not one, not two but THREE! public holidays! Can I hear an AMEN!?
Yesterday’s capacity filled bars, on a Wednesday (before a working Thursday) was a sure indication of the fact that festive season has started… and that it’s downhill from here till 2009!!!
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