You are currently browsing the monthly archive for June, 2008.
So after whining over the fear that I wouldn’t be able to do bungee jumping for my birthday, I managed to do so not without a pretty decent pack of 3 other insane peeps who agreed to come along with me. We left Nbi late and I can’t remember the last time I was on the road to Nyeri let alone driving there – it took forever. We made it in time for the sunset, managed to pay, sign our lives away, get weighed, get strapped up, and climb a 60m ladder to the top of the crane before plunging into the air all in the name of ‘what the hell were you thinking’. Yup once you are up that 60m crane you realize that as fun as it sounds bungee jumping is a bad idea! Esp as you are you being jerked up and down in the air seeing various colors of blue, green brown like a Sony Bravia Ad! But as soon as you are safe on the ground, all teared out and the adrenaline settles… you realize that was the most fun you’d had EVER and that it could be done again but not on this side of 30.
Another fun (but very weird) thing that happened is on Friday (actual day of my birthday) is that I got invited to a Senga session @ someone’s house in Hurligham ( I eventually found out it was due to someone’s birthday). Anyway, I tell you the one bottle of wine didn’t do me justice as I needed to be a bit more drunk than I was. Please note I was sitting there watching a naked woman excite herself while telling us where we go wrong as women of Kenya – how we lack respect & humility for our men et al! Yeah, ok so she was right to some extent but we have to accept that the female cultures of Tanzania & Uganda are so different from ours. Plus it’s not entirely our fault and maybe we should take steps into teaching the next generation about how to handle themselves, however that should be right after we school ourselves first. I say this mainly because I don’t see my mother & aunties suddenly breaking tradition and start telling me on how to go on about sex and to handle my husband… (creepy).
Today morning I got an exciting surprise. At 8am, my dear friend gave birth to a lovely bouncing baby girl with a name fit for an angel! Congrats to her & the new dad… it’s been a long, interesting but very exciting 9-months; I am happy & proud to have been part of the journey; and I pray to be there as this new life starts for all three of them. May the Lord bless their new blessing.
I got this via email, just thought I should share a few tips to help you get through life with the minimum of stress…
-Circle the stain in permanent pen, so that when you remove the garment from the washing machine you can easily locate the area of the stain and check that it has gone.
-Don’t waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.
-Always shit at work. Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you’ll also be getting paid for it.
-Weight watchers. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the fucking thing in the first place, you fat bastard.
-Recreate the fun of a visit to a public swimming pool in your home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it, before jumping in.
-Anorexics. When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cake again.
-An empty aluminum cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator.
-Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you’ve taken steroids by running a bit slower.
-Smokers. Save on matches and lighters, by simply lighting your next fag from the butt of your last one.
-Vegetarians coming to dinner? Simply serve them a nice bit of steak or veal. Since they’re always going on about how tofu, Quorn, meat substitute etc ‘tastes exactly like the real thing’, they won’t know the difference.
-Invited by vegetarians for dinner? Point out that since you’d no doubt be made aware of their special dietary requirements, tell them about yours, and ask for a nice steak.
-High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
-Heavy smokers. Don’t throw away those filters from the end of your cigarettes. Save them up and within a few years you’ll have enough to insulate your roof.
-Corsa drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgems anyway, so it may as well look like one.
-A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.
-Fool next door into thinking you have more stairs than them by banging your feet twice on each stair.
-At supermarket checkouts a Toblerone box makes a handy ‘Next customer Please’ sign for dyslexic shoppers.
-Girls. Don’t worry about a nice dress for that important first date. All he’s interested in is seeing you naked.
-Putting just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes’ eyes bulge and cause them to swim in an amusing manner.
-Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windscreen wipers turned to ‘fast wipe’ whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
-Housewives. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.
-Don’t invite drug addicts round for a meal on Boxing Day. They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive.
The beauty of owning a blog is to be able to vent at any which time… so bare with me.
It’s an exciting week/end mainly because for one I’m turning 21 years old for the 4th time tomorrow, which is quite exciting as I had been 18-till-i-die for a while before that. On top of that I have a new job starting August 1st therefore subsequently I handed my resignation this passed Tuesday without much hassle, so I am currently living out my statutory 21-days notice.
So it only makes sense why I now more than ever I have psyched to Bungee Jump on Saturday but the numbers of committed people is quickly dwindling and I’m afraid I won’t make the required minimum of 3 people to make it an official jump. Plus it is the only thing I have to look forward to this weekend as everyone I know has a family/social plan or is heading for Lewa Marathon! There is the option of attending my future boss’s birthday party on that same Saturday but I am afraid that I might drink myself senseless and misbehave in front of future colleagues…
It’s taken me a number of days to recover from the annual event that is Tusker Safari Sevens! My chest & nose remain clogged but my spirit is surely still soaring over the Kenya 31-12 win over the defending champions the Emerging Boks of South Africa. Watching that game was indeed the culmination of the weekend as Kenya beat Fiji’s C team and continued to shine throughout the whole weekend tournament. Even our Team B Shujaa didn’t let us down and made it to the bowl final against Japan – who subsequently won but not without a fight.
Then there was the Virgin hospitality tent that was to tears! It was the event’s party zone for those who are too old to hang out in the Tusker Village. It was also fun walking around in full Virgin regalia including the coveted red Virgin wigs! This time round I was assisting with the Announcing of games, teams and scores on he smaller non-Kenyan games such as the ladies finals et al. It was a great learning curve and experience, thankfully shyness disappeared and apart from having to shout and run around I had tons of fun.
There was a surprise pre-birthday party in between all of that i.e. on Saturday evening/morning. They got me on that one for sure – kudos to them. The 2am tequilas didn’t help one bit as the next day commentating was proving difficult indeed. Sadly I suspect with the party having happened last weekend not many guys are psyched to share my actual birthday which is tomorrow and or go bungee jumping with me on Saturday @ Sagana. Honestly I am not a party person and would really have loved a crowd at the bungee stint – but we don’t get what we really want in life do we? Anyway I fear that my birthday shall be the same as it is every year… depressing! Urgh!
“Oliech – Odinga – Obama” that was the recurrent chant that could be heard across the Nyayo Stadium @ the football match this passed Saturday. In addition to that I spotted a couple of flags that were the Kenyan flag on one side and the USA flag on the other (apparently stitched together). I am not a great fan of the Obama craze that has swept the country & continent but sometimes it gets so funny you have no choice but to join in.
I have one question however, is our feigned support of Obama just homeland pride or do we actually believe in his quest for the White House (wonder if it’ll be named Black House when he checks in – LOL!). Do we believe in his party’s policies, because in the land of USA that is what Presidential candidates run on – rather than tribal & financial affiliations that we base our votes on in Africa. If he came and stood in Kenya for MP (let alone President) would we have the same craze as we do now? Will we believe that our roads will be paved and livelihoods bettered? Why do we believe that Obama being President of the United States means better development for Kenya (esp the Western regions) rather than believing in the Vision 2030 that was just launched last Tuesday? If he ran in Zimbabwe – would Mugabe automatically step down in recognition of his superior political intentions?
I pity Africa when he steps into power, because we are going to be so greatly disappointed as he gets into the business of running a country’s budget that runs into trillions, among other more important international issues such as Nuclear power generation, the War in Iraq, Food shortage and rising fuel prices.
This passed Saturday I was privileged to be in Nyayo Stadium to watch our Kenyan football team – Harambee stars thrash out the Mugabe in the Zimbabwe team. I hear that this passed game was more organized in terms of people not pushing down the gates & causing havoc – in a bid to see our stars at work. Last weekend the tickets were being sold at the stadium but this time round people had to buy advanced tickets that were sold out a whole 24 hours before the game started. So kudos to the organizers for learning asap from passed mistakes.
What really amazed me was the psyke, adrenaline & energy that was in that stadium. By the time the game started people were on a whole other level & by the time the first goal entered the net the noise levels went up by 100% as all 40,000+ people in the stadium rose to their feet in excitement. There was, however, a small tear gas scare that people brushed off their shoulders when they realized it was a canister shot from the outside rather than internally.
The second goal by the stars surely pushed the energy levels off the charts but were quickly brought down when our star goalie hurt his knees as he tried to rescue the ball from the determined feet of the Zim players. It was sad to see him being carried out in an Ambulance but the crowd chanting his name was enough to show the sympathy that all felt for him. Having over substituted the players the coach decided that Oliech was now to take up the task of being the goalie, this caused some ripples of nervousness but luckily he was barely there for 5 mins as the game ended with a 2-0 score in favor of Kenya. I’m sure he’d have made a great goalie but this wasn’t the time to find out.
Having attended my first ever live football match, I slowly started to realize that we need to support our boys much more beyond criticizing K.F.F – by simply attending any live matches, even at the league stages. It’s a good thing that in this year’s budget the Finance Minister mentioned that 1M is to be set aside for each constituency to bring up young new players & run football leagues at a professional level. I hope that budget is passed and more so managed well. It is also great to have DStv screen our league matches live on our televisions, so we have no excuse to not know what is going on in the football circles. Next live match is versus Namibia so watch out for that & buy your tickets early.
Now having supported Kenyan football, let’s all now get out in droves to do what we do best – Support Kenyan Rugby by turning up at the Tusker Safari Sevens this weekend from the 20th-22nd of June 2008.
This is a call out to all poets around the word: Submissions are invited for the 7th E-book of the Quarterly Colour Series of Poetry. Please pass this along your mailing list so as to features as many poets as we can. Thank you for your support.
Orange Peals ‘a sense of the light-hearted’ is the seventh ebook after Gray Spots, Blue Smudges, Red Streaks, Green Piece, Brown Steps and Indigo Smoothies. So far we have thought about life, enjoyed happiness, been political & seduced. This edition aims to ideally cause poetry readers around the world to burst into peals of laughter – or at least make them smile.
You are invited to submit your work(s) for this seventh edition of the Quarterly Color Series of Poetry (QCS). Submissions must be made in a word document (.doc) and sent to poetry@alkags.com not later than 25th June 2008. Acceptance and selection of works to be published is entirely at the discretion of Al Kags and the Al Kags Trust.
The Quarterly Colour Series of poetry is a series of poetry ebooks that is published online every three months by the Al Kags Trust and distributed virally from one person to many via email, web sites, blogs and other electronic media. So far, the latest tallies of the reported number of people that the book has been forwarded to is 286,000 in over seventy countries. We cannot track the book beyond that and we believe that hundreds of thousands more may have been touched by the poetry.
The series is meant to be a platform that allows poets, who want to be read, to speak to people’s souls around the world – freely & without inhibitions. The rights to the published poetry remains with the poet forever. By submitting however, the poet gives the reader the right to share, republish, recite – indeed spread it around the world at will – so long as the reader quotes the source.
To download all of the poetry e-books feel free to go to http://alkags.com
I love this song…
“I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain
The strands in your eyes that color them wonderful
Stop me and steal my breath.
And emeralds from mountains thrust toward the sky
Never revealing their depth.
Tell me that we belong together,
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I’ll be captivated,
I’ll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above.
I’ll be your crying shoulder,
I’ll be love’s suicide
I’ll be better when I’m older,
I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.
And rain falls angry on the tin roof
As we lie awake in my bed.
You’re my survival, you’re my living proof.
My love is alive — not dead.
Tell me that we belong together.
Dress it up with the trappings of love.
I’ll be captivated,
I’ll hang from your lips,
Instead of the gallows of heartache that hang from above
I know by reading the title you’ll immediately back up family fun! But you know that sometimes we find ourselves in situations where we have to choose between some loose mpango out of town and putting or taking part in a family function where one can catch up with & bond with family members. The former always looks very attractive & tantalizing…but deep down we know that the family comes first and although it might not be the 100% fun of boozing & chilling… it is definitely work, thought & heart. I found myself in such a spot this passed long weekend, and I chose family… which at the end of the day brought so much more overflowing joy than the weekend mpango would have. So why is it I feel truly terrible and utterly boring when my pals start stories on how much fun they had over the weekend?
Jazzment vs joy – the fight continues…
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