WEEKEND @ ELDY

I had a great weekend. Head up to Eldoret to see my pal Neema and it turned out to be more than I expected! First I had booked for Saturday morning but I was told it was best to travel on Friday night, alas it was fully booked! So up and early on Saturday (despite my hangover of vodka, wine & beer) I was off to Eldy.

The ride was rough and all the way I kept on thinking that the govt of Kenya has done a shady job of redoing the infrastructure until someone later told me that the way they were constructing the rift roads was to factor in the fragile region where tremors and quakes are the order of the day. So I do suppose the govt is thinking along the way! I arrived at 3pm, tired and worn but the jubilant reception from my friend and her man was enough to make me bounce up and down in delight. Which I did throughout the night as she and her friends planned for the next day’s excursions to Iten for a picnic.

The evening was made up of buying our share of sandwich ingredients (sadly the list was confused and the next day found us at the picnic site with ham, cheese, salad and no bread! Imagine that humor) and having nice Chinese food for dinner. I think Eldy has a bit more to offer in terms of affording international cuisine. It had been a while since I had Wanton soup and Pork Fooyong so there I was digging into it like it was a farm! The night ended with me finally watching the movie Apocalypto.

The next day started early enough, everyone converged at Neema’s house and made a slow start towards Iten. The usual drama of a car’s gear box giving up and someone forgetting to fuel was there but we made it safely to the picnic site, after stopping for fuel, leaving the spoilt car at some fuel station and viewing Kerio Valley from a designated view point. I was in a skirt and non-hiking shoes so I didn’t take part in rock climbing to get an even better view of the valley.

At the picnic site we found that they cooked for their guests so we ordered chicken and ugali before heading to look for some waterfalls. I think we spent 1 hour there, the water was soothing and guys decided to climb up the rocks. I made it as far as halfway which included me hurting my left leg, but just the idea of being a child again and trying to figure out how to get to the top of this natural beauty. Back at the site we scoffed down a meal of chicken and ugali. After a nice chat and watching it rain over Kerio Valley (not where we were though) we were off to the city.

I missed my buses and had to take the 9.30pm bus back to Nairobi but it was all worth it. I did manage to squeeze in a panic attack while I was fretting over traveling at night and arriving in the city barely an hour to me reporting to work. But eventually once I was in the bus between two snoring men who kept on leaning into me, I erased the worry out of my mind because in all honesty I wouldn’t have done anything different had time been rewound.

It’s 3 days later, I still see the green landscape in my mind, I remember the laughter and little dramas that happened on the way there and back. It’s been a while since I just upped and went somewhere… I’ll make sure that time doesn’t lapse again before I’m up and off somewhere else.

AMIDST OUR DEAFENING SILENCE…

AMIDST OUR DEAFENING SILENCE, ZIM HITS A NEW LOW
By Al Kags // 27 September 2007 // Nairobi, Kenya. // 803 words.

In Zimbabwe, Parliament has passed a bill, under the so-called indigenization of the country’s resources, that requires foreign owned companies in the already impoverished country to hand over at least 51% of their shareholding to black Zimbabweans. For Kenyans who are aware, this strikes a new low in the sadness and grief for the people of Zimbabwe.

The indigenization process started out with the driving out of the white minority farmers from their farms, once rich with tobacco and other cash crops – and once the bedrock of the country’s economy. This has brought the country to its knees and anyone who has been watching will confirm that that land was not given to the black squatters but to President Robert Mugabe’s friends and supporters. Indeed, the squatters are not even squatters in many of those farms now. Certainly, the crops are long dead.

The situation in Zimbabwe is special to Kenya because it is reminiscent of the dark days in the 1980s in Kenya, when the autocratic governance of former president Moi’s government saw the suppression of the people’s rights, wanton disregard for justice and the proactive bullying (an understatement) of the government’s critics, who were arrested, tortured, jailed and killed as a way of shutting them up.

Zimbabwe’s Central Intelligence Organization is exactly reminiscent of Kenya’s Special Branch in those days. It has a huge budget to fund its ruthless operations (even while children lose their hair and skin in the worst – and final – stages of Kwashiorkor), it has unfettered access to the latest technology the world has to offer and it has carte blanche from the president to do whatever it takes to protect the government interests.

People who criticize the government, even in private, are intimidated, arrested, tortured and killed. Their lives, livelihoods, reputations and families are at great risk – and this is why most Zimbabweans choose to stay out of it and remain silent, letting the grumbling of their hungry stomachs voice their discontent. And they are hungry.

The streets of Zimbabwe’s capital, Harare are dark at night because there is no electricity but even in the shadows at 3am you will see hundreds of people walking purposefully. These people represent the one in five people in Harare who still have jobs. There is no fuel for the cars and bus rides are today a distant memory, but they walk to the bus stops and street corners where they wait for pick up trucks and the occasional passing car for a ride to work. It takes five hours to get to work many days for many people.

At dawn, silent queues form in different places in the city – at petrol stations in the hope that some expensive petrol will be poured into tanks and jerry cans for cars that almost never move, at shopping centers where rumors have it that there may be bread or sugar or rice or some other scarce commodity and at hospitals, where there is the hope that at least a doctor will give some remedy, even if drugs cannot be found – or worse still afforded.

At the shopping centre, even if the bread does come, the people queuing may not get it because the rumors also reached the ears of the also hungry police and ZANU-PF youth wingers, who loot the food as soon as it arrives.

Many Kenyans can remember this sort of thing – even though we were lucky one might say – it did not get to be quite so bad. But this situation touches the raw nerves of many Kenyans. And yet, we are silent. Why has our leadership said nothing against Zimbabwe’s president Mugabe? Where are the voices of the likes of Koigi wa Wamwere, Ngugi wa Thiong’o, David Onyango Oloo, James Orengo, Raila Odinga and all those other patriots who felt the brunt of the atrocities of the 1980s in Kenya?

Why is South Africa silent, yet a great number of Zimbabweans flee to South Africa – legally and illegally to seek sustenance for themselves and for the families they leave behind? Politicians and leaders only speak up when it is in theirs’ or their countries’ interest to take a stance. What do we have to gain from the continued degradation of Zimbabwe’s people? Are we waiting to see how comrade Bob does and if he is successful we can emulate him?

Meanwhile, back in Zimbabwe, the new law that now waits to go to the senate, Zimbabwe’s higher house, where it is sure to pass will achieve little. Foreign companies that are already doing little business in light of the high inflation, the people’s much diminished buying power and the difficult environment, will have little choice but to close down.

The only upside to that, perhaps, is that that worker can sleep more hours and conserve the energy that his malnourished body will need to find food for his children – if he can.

THE FEAR OF HOME?

A Short discussion on the previous post got me reminiscing and also wondering as to why it is hard for Kenyans in the diaspora (I once included) cannot equate success and making it with our beloved Kenya. Why is it that the mentality that to still succeed one can make it in western countries such as US, UK and Australia? I don’t deny that the grass is greener on the other side, but could we stop for a minute and analyze this for a second.

Kenyans at home right now usually have this discussion (at random house parties and bars) and you will hear people say that they are better off in Kenya because they work only one job, club/drink Tusker all they want and have freedom as opposed to their brothers and sisters in the diaspora. Yet if the US Embassy was to call them the next day with an offer of a Green Card they will be the first to sell their car, family, furniture and what not at the blink of an eye.

Then there are those that are away from home, have put in a good number of years into living abroad, come home see the developments that have been achieved (granted we are not functioning at 100% as a country but we are headed there) dismiss it as non consequential and get on the next plane to lala land. One of the worst times for me is when the summer bunnies come home and all their conversations are filled with “In the US this…”  and “ In the UK that…”  Note there are some decent conversations involving that start line but I hate the ones that put down all that we are doing here. Truthfully, I usually can’t wait for them to be all gone. If you can’t come home and appreciate what’s been done then don’t come home in the first place.

But there are those that actually do miss home, but are afraid of coming and starting from scratch. The thought is that they are better off making it (whatever it may be to you) where they are and not in Kenya. Why is this so? I had the same fear not less than two years ago. The only thing that made me come home was that they refused to renew my visa, if they did… I really can’t hazard a guess as to where I would be now.

Why when we have expatriates knocking down our doors to enter? Why is it hard to equate home with success? Why?

GAME FOR CHANGE

If you’ve gone through my whole blog with a fine-toothed comb (I haven’t) you will come to realize that I get mighty restless when I am in need of change.

It’s been 2 years this month since I returned from Malaysia. It was a big thing for me, I was scared, unsure that I would be able to get a job and make my way in this new Kenya (yes you heard me Kenya is all brand new since 2002, the hope that was there 2003 has faded but not the determination of a country to move on 100%). But I did fit in; I did find my way towards standing on my own two feet. I got and sustained a job through internship, probation and now permanent employment. I moved out of home & reacquainted myself with my ever-dramatic family.

So now here I am… on the threshold of change. I have desired change for most part of the year, and as I write this I am certain that it’s coming soon. The restlessness is checking in… I’m scared though, new paths to travel on usually bring with them new challenges… but anything to get me out of my little comfort zone… I’m game!

LETTING GO

Letting go of something is hard, especially if that thing is of sentimental value to you & also one of the greatest ideas you came up with while you were with someone you loved.

Now it’s some 5 odd years later and it’s time to realize that holding on just because it was a big part of me for a while, it doesn’t help especially if it means battling with someone over the idea’s ownership & growth.

Therefore, this here is a tribute to how much I valued that idea & the person; and to new beginnings and moving on to my own idea, it’s inception and growth.

I WAS ON TV!!!

I was on TV!! I was on TV!!! Lah lah lah! He he he… well it was a small segment but there I was! My red head looking even more blazing and copper like in the camera’s lights. I feigned being blonde for the reporter but as soon as I had answered the question I loved the expression on her face… like “oh you really are smart!” LOL… too much too much! Anyway, that was fun to see, I just need to stop over gesturing! Looked like my hands were going through a fit.

Last weekend was totally awesome; I went to Sara’s concert at FCC (that’s where the interview happened). The concert was off the hook, chain and boat! It was tight. I’m really proud of Sara. 5/7 some odd years ago we were rehearsing in the hoods of Arboretum, trying to make a choir. Didn’t go well but it’s great to see that one of us turned out great, talent, charisma and stage presence galore. Good on yah Sara!!!

On Saturday I up and went to WaPI. I haven’t been there in ages and I just wanted to see wsup esp since Sprite took over sponsorship and my boy Muki’s role was replaced by Blaze! It was aiight. I found it lacked character and the pals I met there uttered the same concern. One said it’s the same damn crowd that wasn’t helping him in terms of business/sales of his merchandise. Another said she couldn’t place it but that something had been lost… as it was too much on hip-hop and less and less on underground. Not sure if I got that right but yeah that was the gist.

The other reason I missed my Nz vs Portugal game (where I hear Nz wiped the floor with those our Portuguese pals) was to see Dead Prez. Truthfully I’m a rocker and I have no clue who these peeps were. But they performed and I realized I knew 50% of their songs, and some lyrics I had heard once in a while. So I wasn’t doing too badly as I stood on a plastic chair, barely seeing DP as they were hidden by the swelling crowd. That’s one good thing about the WaPI now, the crowds are massive and there were more new faces. I’ll pop by on an ordinary WaPI see what cuts. That is unless they keep bringing someone like DP to hype the event.

It was a great weekend all around in terms of events, but emotionally I was a wreck! Unconsciously, I decided to take long walks and think things through. Everything resolves itself eventually but it’s how I deal with it when it’s burning my soul that matters to me. It’s all good now, the sun’s out and there are those stratified clouds in the sky… haven’t seen them in while.

FADING AWAY BUT NOT FORGOTTEN

Six years later the memory of 9/11 fades from my mind. I suspect it might be due to the reason that I’ve been in my country for two years now, and the fear of returning home in a hijacked plane is no longer a threat.

It might also be because I’ve come home and the atrocities that my fellow countrymen are undergoing and have undergone have become more real to me than an event that happened 6 years ago.

The horror that has besieged Iraq in the hands of the US have also had a part in erasing two tall buildings crumbling into dust upon the heads of many who watched.

The idea that no matter what I do vengeance is no longer in the hands of God… but of man and he reigns supreme in the throne of the oval room.

Between then and now the Tsunami & Katrina happened… if reminded me that no matter how civilized and advanced we are nature has a sure way of putting us back in it’s place.

The reason I remember this day? Is so that I can take time to remember the many other things that have happened to us as humanity between then and now.

A moment of silence.

VINDICATED

by Dashboard Confessionals

Hope dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption
Winding in and winding out
The shine of it has caught my eye

And roped me in
So mesmerizing, so hypnotizing
I am captivated

[Chorus]
I am Vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I’m right
I swear I knew it all along

And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself

So clear
Like the diamond in your ring
Cut to mirror your intentions
Oversized and overwhelmed
The shine of which has caught my eye
And rendered me so isolated, so motivated
I am certain now that

[Chorus]

So turn
Up the corners of your lips
Part them and feel my finger tips
Trace the moment, fall forever
Defense is paper thin
Just one touch and I’d be in
Too deep now to ever swim against the current
So let me slip away [3x]
So let me slip against the current
So let me slip away [4x]

[Chorus]

Slight hope
It dangles on a string
Like slow spinning redemption…

BEING GRATEFUL

It was mentioned to me that maybe I’m not grateful because I whine about things I want to have or want to do. That got me thinking… what’s all that about? What does it all entail this act of being grateful? Can’t I dream, desire or want to want more than I already have? I have a great family, comfy home, good job, awesome friends, and interesting activities… spiritually - well God & I are on this long walk where of late I’ve meandered off on my own tangent… But still am I not grateful if I do everything I do to the best of my ability, while wanting to learn more and wanting to share my life, its lessons and joys with others? Am I being ungrateful when I talk of a deeper desire that’s in me to do more – must more & much better?

I believe there is the life we are supposed to live and there is the one we choose… I want to live the one I’m supposed to… I want to wake up and go forth to the world knowing I am adding to its value by what I do… it’s not that I’m not feeling like that now about my life… just that I know am only at the beginning of a very long journey… what I have now (that I’ve been blessed to have) is all part of this big plan… unfortunately I tend to be impatient… so maybe when I say I want to taste a little, smell a whiff or just hear a bit of the bigger picture… I might sound ungrateful for what I have right now… so what is being grateful… what’s that about… must I get on my knees and thank God every time? Well I do that… I whisper to Him when I can (that’s a my bad)… but I think if I do what He has given me to steward to the best of my ability…then I am… or am I?

What is being grateful!?

I wrote that a while back and was unable to blog it because, well, you can sense that I was a bit ticked off & rage was oozing from every pore of my fingertips. I can’t for the life of me remember what/who made me so mad.

As I read it again a different feeling came to me. I felt grateful in the sense that a small quiet peace settled upon my heart. I think between then and now I have enjoyed friends, family, life and a whole new way. I’ve learnt to appreciate not because I must but because I want to. Don’t get me wrong I still ponder on the things I’ve mentioned above, but I realize I don’t need to be vindicated by anyone but by God.

He alone holds my scales and He only can tip them in his favor. His favor being what he wants for me; which can only be for my good. Of course occasionally I will fight over it with Him but then again He has sent many things my way this year that help me understand him more… Not at my GOD but my Lord, my Father and my Friend.

So what is grateful?

It’s that light & quiet peace that lies upon your heart when you ponder on what you’ve been blessed with.

WHAT’S A GIRL TO DO?

It’s in the air… not sure what exactly but yep sniff sniff it is. The day started off well with clear sunny skies, and y’ll know how much I love sun on Fridays! What can a gal say… then now the month ahead is primed and ready! RUGBY WORLD CUP is on! I don’t know what more to say… maybe I’ll say it after watching the opening match between France & Argentina! Cheers and here is to good health!