THAT BRAND NEW SMELL….

“To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” Henri Bergson

I know why I’ve been on a high these passed few weeks. I decided to change the way I was living. Imagine for 3-4 months day in day out, sitting the in the house watching TV, eating, reading….urgh. No wonder I even lost my appetite and would go into bouts of depression. But that’s all behind me now. I have reason to be this happy.

I have my little baby projects mushrooming around me and they are all for me, by me and from me! Capoiera will help me get back into shape, new email account…new blog…new friends or old ones reacquainted…..new new new….in short I’m reinventing myself and what I do….

Don’t you just love that brand new smell??! It’s in the air people….go out and get you some!!!

Better 10 instead of 20.

“Now am beginning what I could have started ten years ago. But am happy at least I didn’t wait twenty years.” The Englishman (Alchemist)

Yes I’m going to quote this book till the cows come home. It’s a really interesting book with a profound thought every page you turn. Why did this quote strike me?

I’v been thinking about it for a while now. I think I mentioned it before…maybe I didn’t. The whole idea that we are all meant to do or learn something when we are meant to not before and not after - I call it the need to know basis….

Regret is an interesting thing - it’s not just about having done or not done something that makes you regret.But for instance I started Capoiera and I only have 3 months left before I leave. Then I think that if I had started last year I’d have been super fit right now - but I didn’t even know about it until earlier this month, so what I’m I regretting exactly?

Or how I knew certain people all these years in Malaysia but only now do we have a close friendship with them. So I regret not having started up the friendship earlier so that I could have years of their friendship instead of just months.

I don’t know if you get what I mean but the quote above really made me think how silly I was being.

I’m having the time of my life right now. Surrounding me are really close friends that make me laugh, think and sometimes cry. I’m about to graduate after four years of University…so much lies ahead of me; and despite the fear of the unknown am hopeful.

Despite the downs my family has faced this year - now more than ever do I feel closer to them. Mum is chattering new paths personally and in her business. My sister has just finished her first year of University and managed to bag a summer job. She’s impressing everyone with her work ethic, patience and personality….I could never be prouder. My cousins are doing well too with new jobs, challenges and successes. Basically, what am saying is that am happy when those I love are happy and discovering themselves.

So when I even have a slight notion to regret not having started something or befriended someone earlier or…I tell myself that it was all meant to happen now…so that I could have this great time am having.

I had a t-shirt once that said something to the effect of “My good days outweigh my bad days…thankyou Lord I won’t complain.” That’s where am at right now.

Oh Dear!!!!

A man left to go help in the Crusades and decided that his wife should wear a chastity belt. So he locks her up and gives the key to his best friend.

He tells him, “If I’m not back in four years, unlock my wife and set her free to live a normal life.”

So, the husband leaves on horseback and about a half hour later, he sees a cloud of dust behind him. He waits for it to come closer and sees his best friend.

“What’s wrong?” He asks.

“You gave me the wrong key.”

World’s Apart yet…..

I dunno about this blogging but after starting one up yesterday I got really excited about all the stuff that I could write….and not really care who reads it….and care at the same time…. you know?

Anyway, today I was sitting down for lunch at the plaza and chatting up my two classmates. Then we got talking about how there is this sudden pressure from the parents about marriage. (I’m not experiencing that, thank God, but poor girls) Just about to get their degrees and parents are worried that they don’t even have boyfriends.

Which makes me wonder about the whole parenting thing. It’s a bit indecisive don’t you think? When we start getting interested in boys at the young age: bring them home and even talk incenssently about them you’re scolded! “Don’t be thinking about boys, concentrate on your studies, they are bad, you could get pregnant….yada yada!”

Then now when you come to University and actually see the need to concentrate on the books, find yourself and really not care about a boyfriend…they haunt you down, “Eh? What is it now? Surely you should be having a boyfriend and….I know this young man I think he is a good one….” “But….I thought?” Yah and the story goes on.

Sadly I’ve heard of tales where the young lady finally bows to the pressure of getting a boyfriend, brings him home and alas! He is not good enough “I hope you are not considering marrying that one! You know Mama so & so’s son? He is a doctor and he….”

Funny how that goes. Am grateful though, Mum hasn’t started pressuring me yet.

But what was interesting was sitting with Malaysian & Indonesian girls hearing them complain about the same thing that I hear at home. The world is small and back to my original idea that there is a soul of the Universe where those who came before left what they knew! I gurantee you when I become a parent I’ll probably do the same things that I hate being done to know…..

It’s all done in LOVE though! Some parents don’t give a rat’s piss about their kids lives. So be grateful for small things that show they care.

Love you Mum!

Intuition???

“Intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life, where the histories of all people are connected, and we are able to know everything, because it’s all written there.” The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho.

I can’t believe am finally reading this book. There was a time people were recommending it to me left, right and centre. I searched for it but didn’t find it - then I thought, maybe am not meant to read it at that time. I think that is so true - that we are all meant to read or do or learn something when we are meant to not before and not after. No need in forcing it….you know?

Ok yah so am reading the book a second time and it just blows me away. It’s funny how things I knew before or had an idea about can be spelt out so clearly in this book.

For instance I was telling Robert how there are times I’d just know something, I’d have a hunch about something; and it would happen just as I thought it would. Where did I get that knowledge???

I’m not that smart just that sometimes my mind sparks and I know, I know. I think that’s when am connected to the universal library….where those before me left what they knew….and now I know…… you know?